The Wonderful World of Exercise!

Back in high school, I was a golfer. That's right. I lettered in the sport, played in tournaments, and really enjoyed spending time with my golf girls. We were an odd bunch, not really friends outside of the sport, but when we were at practice or a tourney, we were truly a team. I miss the sport and those friendships a lot. We all wore matching hair ties and the same shirts. Well, mostly the same shirts.

You see, back in high school, I was still a fat kid. I didn't fit into the cute red shirts or black sleeveless polos the team had recently invested in. They didn't order my size because it was before I started playing. So I, with all of the confidence I could muster, wore an older style, slightly bigger, red polo. I didn't match the rest of the girls...

You'd think that would have been a hint to lose weight, even back then, but I think I just decided that it would be okay. Or, it would have to be okay, and I was unable to lose weight. In high school, I wasn't motivated enough to have it make a difference. I didn't care that I wore a different shirt or that I always wore longer shorts than the other girls. I wasn't ashamed that I found it hard to walk the whole course at times in the season. I didn't think twice about the fact that people would stare at the fat girl and wonder why she was a varsity golfer.

Wait a minute, I worried about it all of the time. So much so, that I simply ate more.

So now, when I go to the rec center to exercise, I worry that people are staring and thinking things about me. Usually, it's one of two options: (A) "Man, look at her go! It's great that she's trying to get in shape." Or (B) "Man, look at how fat she is! How did she let it get that bad?!" I'm pretty sure it's usually option B.

And I can't blame them, I look at the skinny girls and wish I could look that good. Then I remind myself that, if I don't let their thoughts (thoughts I'm putting into their heads myself, because who knows what they're really thinking...) get to me, then I can look as good as them. I can be that person. I can golf and wear the same shirt as my team. Okay, maybe not a team anymore, but I won't get tired walking the course and I could even pick out a new, cute golf outfit!

So, now, I'm turning into an exercise fool! Okay, not so much, but at least I'm making an effort to do it more! :)

PS - Down another 1.4 pounds. Making my total loss 8.3, leaving 95.2 pounds left to lose of 103.5.