If you're still following me, I'm definitely off of the wagon. But I'm jumping back on with a Bible Study for Lent. This bible study is called Made to Crave and it's all about craving God and not food.

To follow that journey (which my sister is also on) check out our blog HERE.

In the meantime, I'll try to update more here, too.

Off the Wagon

I will admit it. I fell off the wagon. Pretty hardcore. But I'm back on, to the best of my ability at least. I'm going to do this again. I will have an official weigh in tomorrow, I will make this happen again and share with you my progress (or lack thereof.).

I'm not sure how I'm going to stay on top of it this time. I need to find my motivation again. But I will. And it will work out.

In the meantime, I'm off to live my weekend as a (healthier) college student. I'm working toward my sister's birthday, so I can celebrate with her and enjoy a bit of extra food.

That gives me One Month to work my way into a healthier routine. Again.

Until next time...

The Wonderful World of Exercise!

Back in high school, I was a golfer. That's right. I lettered in the sport, played in tournaments, and really enjoyed spending time with my golf girls. We were an odd bunch, not really friends outside of the sport, but when we were at practice or a tourney, we were truly a team. I miss the sport and those friendships a lot. We all wore matching hair ties and the same shirts. Well, mostly the same shirts.

You see, back in high school, I was still a fat kid. I didn't fit into the cute red shirts or black sleeveless polos the team had recently invested in. They didn't order my size because it was before I started playing. So I, with all of the confidence I could muster, wore an older style, slightly bigger, red polo. I didn't match the rest of the girls...

You'd think that would have been a hint to lose weight, even back then, but I think I just decided that it would be okay. Or, it would have to be okay, and I was unable to lose weight. In high school, I wasn't motivated enough to have it make a difference. I didn't care that I wore a different shirt or that I always wore longer shorts than the other girls. I wasn't ashamed that I found it hard to walk the whole course at times in the season. I didn't think twice about the fact that people would stare at the fat girl and wonder why she was a varsity golfer.

Wait a minute, I worried about it all of the time. So much so, that I simply ate more.

So now, when I go to the rec center to exercise, I worry that people are staring and thinking things about me. Usually, it's one of two options: (A) "Man, look at her go! It's great that she's trying to get in shape." Or (B) "Man, look at how fat she is! How did she let it get that bad?!" I'm pretty sure it's usually option B.

And I can't blame them, I look at the skinny girls and wish I could look that good. Then I remind myself that, if I don't let their thoughts (thoughts I'm putting into their heads myself, because who knows what they're really thinking...) get to me, then I can look as good as them. I can be that person. I can golf and wear the same shirt as my team. Okay, maybe not a team anymore, but I won't get tired walking the course and I could even pick out a new, cute golf outfit!

So, now, I'm turning into an exercise fool! Okay, not so much, but at least I'm making an effort to do it more! :)

PS - Down another 1.4 pounds. Making my total loss 8.3, leaving 95.2 pounds left to lose of 103.5.

First Day Back to the Gag...

Here at good ol' WSC, we refer to our cafeterias as the Gag. Upper and Lower Gags. They're, well, interesting places with many choices. From Taco Bell to French Fries, to the occasional fruits and vegetables. Probably the hardest part of being on a diet in college is staying on track with cafeteria food as the mainstay of your edible items. No joke. So I gave myself a goal for this week:

Each day, I want to find at least one healthy substitution for my plate. Today, I did quite well:

• Breakfast: Instead of sausage & hash browns, I ate oatmeal and an apple.
• Lunch: Instead of french fries with my sandwich, I had a salad and cooked broccoli.
• Dinner: Instead of delicious looking chili-cheese fries, I had pork, potatoes, and green beans. AND, instead of ice cream for dessert, I indulged in angel food cake with strawberries and a wee bit of whipped cream. 

 

Now for the best part: I stayed within my caloric goals today, even with a piece of banana bread as a snack, and am super proud of all of that. 

So, I went to work out tonight and put in a good 30 minutes on the elliptical machines. I saw the dreaded scale as I was leaving...and I was like, "Well, it's been a few days, better step on." And I expected to see myself down a pound. 

But I wasn't down a pound. Or even two. Nope. I was down a whopping 3.4 pounds from the last time I'd stepped on a scale!!! Talk about being proud and pumped. So I'm a total of 6.9 pounds closer to losing my 103.5 goal. I'm excited. And so motivated. 

In the meantime...check out my friend's blog about her wedding journey. Give it a read! She's awesome and a huge support of mine.

Finally, best news ever: snow day tomorrow! More time to work out, right?! :) And start on some of that class work...

The Story of Temptations

I'm back to school. Yes, I am. I drove today and it was awful. One thing after another went wrong. I'm telling you. Low tire light on. Turn signal burnt out. Missed an exit. Ate at Wendy's.

In my mind, that's probably the worst offense. I ate at Wendy's. All I had was the Honey Barbeque Boneless Chicken Wings - and I didn't eat all of them. In fact, the meal itself was under 500 calories. But it's so bad for me. I should have made a better choice. I'd wanted Subway, but I passed the one I'd planned to stop at and then I was SO hungry. So I gave into temptation.

And it wasn't all that satisfying. :( Oh well, make a better choice for dinner.

In more positive news, I went to camp yesterday - where I work over the summer - to help with an event for high school age volunteers. I love camp. If you know me, you know it's my happy place. So I loved it. The best part - we learned to contra dance! (It's kind of like square dancing, only in a long, long line...) So much exercise! Made me feel great about myself.

We ate junk food - that part, not so great. But it was camp.....not an excuse.

Also, the day helped me remember why I want to lose weight. Goal: Go to camp in May and have people say, "WOW! Charms! You look great!" :)

The Good, Bad, and Ugly

Dieting, in and of itself, is a great life choice. Getting healthy almost immediately means you'll feel better, have a longer lifespan, and gain confidence in yourself. But the act itself is not without its struggles. I, for example, don't like to withstand cravings. That much is true. I did fantastic today, with a semi healthy lunch and not overdoing it too badly during dinner. I was proud.

But when my big sister - Jax - and I began our evening plans of Grey's Anatomy and hair dying, I immediately fell into a routine with her. We both enjoy food. A lot. It's not a crime, you know? So, by my word, we went and got a Papa Murphy's Pizza. Part of my desire for this all-time comfort food was just a long day, the other part was memories of my sister and I watching a Grey's season finale with Pizza Hut, feet up on the coffee table, and a great night as we watched Denny Duquette die after receiving a heart transplant.

The memory is a good one...and Pizza tonight made it even better. And the cookies, don't forget the cookies.

Moral of the story: I associate food with happiness, I think. When I get stressed, I eat. When I get scared, I eat. When I'm happy, I eat. I just eat to feel... and that's not okay. That, I think, will be the biggest part of this battle.

Just something else to work on, but that cheesy goodness was wonderful.

I know I went over on my caloric intake goals, but I'll just start again tomorrow. Thankfully I hadn't snacked much before during today - and I can still do this.

I will still do this.


To be continued... Charmsey out.

The Other Side of Me.

I am a dreamer. It's true. I always have big ideas and sometimes I follow through and sometimes, I don't. But I am a dreamer. And my new dream is one that I refuse to give up on. I dream of being beautiful and confident. Of smiling and believing that I'm beautiful. I dream of losing 103.5 pounds in the next year. That's right. I, Charmsey (or Charms, or Kate, whatever you know me as), am embarking on a journey during 2011.

I have a few ideas as to how to make this happen. The first is my use of the website 3fatchicks.com. I have already found great support there. I'm also tracking my caloric intake at FitDay. Hopefully this will keep me honest. I also plan to take regular progress pictures. (You will see the first below.) I'm also going to work my way into a vegetarian lifestyle (crazy, huh?!). Most important to this plan, though, is that - despite my busy schedule - I am vowing to take the stairs instead of the elevator, to walk the long way if I have time, and to do whatever I can to up my physical activity.

So there it is. Charms will soon be a new girl. I will be the best version of me I can be. 

Here's the first picture to show you where I'm starting. It's not pretty, but it's true.

 

To be continued... x.Charmsey Out.